Junwei(:

Nostalgic.

2011-04-24T19:10:00.004+08:00

somehow, deliberately have this urge to blog.
as i desperately need someone to talk to,
despondently, there isn't any one for me to pour out to.
life is full or curves, up and down. no doubt about that.
it's all part of growing up; adolesence.

friends? what's friend?
someone who would be there for you when you are down,
someone who would be there for you in terms of trouble,
someone who would be there for you when you are about to turn insane,
someone who would be there and share to you all their happiness,
someone who would be there and give you a listening ear if you ever need one,
someone who would be there and love you for who you really are,
chiefly,
someone who just want to be with you and be there for you without expecting
anything in return.

i do have one, but i felt that she deserve someone better.
same goes to all my ex lover, they deserve much better.
i'm aint whining down here like a bitch,
nor definitely i aint expecting any sympathy from any one.
& just to be genuine, i need no sympathy from no one.

i just felt that, it's time to distant myself away from them.
no matter what's the outcome, i think it'll be much better for them.
might sound selfish in a sense,
but i really cant purge myself away from all the harted i had within myself.
i know no one is perfect, if they were perfect, they would'd already be god.
but, i'm not even in the category of normal.
i'd desolated myself away by my very own hand.
&the tattoo i had will maim me for life.
living in the prison of my own creation huh?

i know i could never be able to turn back time, never.
it takes time to bury this load of mine,
till then, sorry my friends..

time flies

2011-03-14T17:32:00.004+08:00

hey, yea, finally blog again.
what can i say? time sure flies..
so many things had happened, and its like i finally ord.
i wont say it's fast nor short, but i think it's worth remembering it.
these 2years definiely had shaped me to a whole new different person.
in terms of both physically and mentally.

what's my plan next?
i'll be re-taking my eng and math this year.
and lets pray hard that i at least get a c6 for both to skate through myself to sim dip.
hopefully it's still not too late for me to study yea?
we reap what we sow isnt it? haha.

anw, i'd moved on. as in really moved on.
memories of you definiely would still hovered ard me.
but it's all past. let bygones be bygones. (:

chiefly, i just hope that this year would be a good year for me! ;D

bday tmr?

2009-10-25T16:01:00.007+08:00

5yrs and forever!

somehow i look so ugly in every singe photo..

i think i really look awuful. zzz

last yr bday i wasnt alone..
you bought a cake for me..

it was more like ytd then a yr to me.

i.. nvm. last long and hold ur smile. takecare!

outing with budd, her bro and aly.

was a good one. i enjoyed myself/ (:

thanks! budd always!! x3

adeline faster finish o's!

outing!! lol.

where are you..

2009-07-04T17:24:00.002+08:00

reaching 8mths alr, i rlly wish to know how are you..
i didnt have the courage to text you at all.
ur bday present is still in my hse. i wonder when then can i give it to you.
i know.. i know you are alr attached.
but i really cant stop myself from missing you.
i cant move on girl. i really cant. i swear i did tried alot of matter to in lieu you.
but nth seems to work. i hate myself for still missing&loving you.

i can console all my friends and budd what to do. but i cant do the same to myself.
i tried to hate you.. but, it doesnt seem to work.
i'm paronoid. so damn paronoid.
i dont like the feeling of being alone. when i used to have everything ard me.
i dont like the feeling where i need to force myself to sleep everynight.
how does it feel when u know iloveyou and u decided to leave me so curely.

i'm acting worse then a girl now man.
fuck this bullshit.
i wonder what i really want..

dear god, pls guide me through this..

Be strong..

2009-05-02T14:36:00.003+08:00

be strong budd,
be strong!
always here.. love

Army.

2009-03-29T01:58:00.002+08:00

yo! i like finally blog. lol.
nth much to say.. just serving ns now and leading a good life i guess.
heard that you have a new bf le..
happy for you girl.
at the same time, kind of sad.. idk y..
but still, hope you all last long.
take care, lil girl.

& thanks to all my bros for acc me when i booked out today.
really f touched. haha. thanks. (:

1yearand 11more months to ord! lol!

give up.

2009-02-24T17:38:00.005+08:00

i'm tired.. really.. so tired..
you kept me hanging on without moving on..
i cant fight the tears that are coming.. or the moment of truth in your lies..
while everything seem just like a movie, i bleed just to know that i'm still alive.
i miss you so much girl..
thanks budd to be there all this while..
but utterly sorry at the same time..
cause i've nv been a good budd..
sorry..

army soon.. =/

down..

2009-02-15T17:00:00.007+08:00

ytd just went out with her..
suppose to be happy, but yet i'm right here feeling so down like a dying emo kid.
sometime i really dont know what to do or what to say..
am i really that bad..? do i really look that horrible? is my attitude really that fuck up?
ytd was a quiet night. i didnt really talk to her at all.
firstly, i dont know what the fuck i'm shying abt..
dont even dare to really talk to her? damn.
secondly, she is quiet herself..
idk.. ytd feel so wierd i can say..
so drifted, so stranger..
why..?? another month and a day is our one yr you know..
iloveyou so much i can say..
you make me so crazy over you even aft 3months of break up.
i'm a emo kid,!! damn fucking right i am!
i dont know how to treasure ppl ard me and i treat everyone so shitty!
sorry.. sorry to those who hate me and those who treat me well..
sighh, i'm sincerely sorry my friends..
i dont know why my life now is so fuck up.
seriously hope that things will get better.. ns soon. another 20days plus.
your bday reaching too.. sigh.
i.. i just want to treat you better. damn.
i wish i could let go. i really wish i could.
but there's too many reason for me not to let go..
i couldn't find anyone else but you, to really show me what is true love all about..
not anyone else but you, whom i can be so close to their family with.
and lastly, not anyone but you, whom i can hug so tightly while sleeping next to you.
r/s makes me gone so nuts..
i seriously hate this life now..
dear god, please pick me up from this fall,
i wish and beg you..
amen.

The sudden miss.

2009-02-13T22:35:00.002+08:00

dearest, where have you gone,
you seem missing..
i miss you so..
yet cant mumble a word out.
how are you, i thought i could let go, but i'm so wrong..
everywhere i go seems to have a memories of you.
i hate myself living in this hell.. everyday deceiving myself.
world of lies..
i'm so envy whenever i saw couple on the street.
hug and kisses,
jokes and laughter..

will you ever come back..
i'm still waiting..
waiting..

sigh.

last words..

2009-02-02T11:21:00.006+08:00

i've finally make it? moving on with my life without looking back?
thanks to those who cheer me up. esp all my bros.. thanks.
though in a different way, but it's greatly appreciated.
girl, at the very least, you were once mine..
you were my best,& will always be..

Smile& let go. (:

2009-01-28T15:01:00.007+08:00

yea! its cny now. happy cny to everyone yo. (:
nothing much to blog, just have been playing mahjong's with bros.
and yea, bai nian. lol.
recently did went to a club, quite fun. worth try going guys.
it's at clarkey where last time the mos is. the songs and the DJ is cool.
the dance floor is small but the scenario is marvelous. haha.

in about slightly 40days time, i'm going to ns le. kind of excited? lol.
but kinda shag when i think abt being botak soon.
time sure flies. i'm alrdy 19 this yr, very soon will be 20, 21, 22,23. duhhhh.
random. -.-

anyhow, i still miss you girl.
but i'm happy to see the way you are now. (:
happy life , big smile. haha.
so glad to see you that day at cine, you smiled so prettily.
flawless smile. (:
stay happy and yea, no sad! hahaha.

& to all my bros, dont mia lei, i'm rotting at home seriously.
before i go ns, faster ask me out!! billiard or mahjongggggggggg!

kk, thats all.
happy CNY to all. (:

10months.

2009-01-16T21:57:00.005+08:00

todays is our 1omonths..
there's still so much thing i wanna tell you..
you left me in disarray..
3months had passed. imy so much..
how i wished you didnt go..
i'm a failure, a useless crap..

before you came along, there was no one who ever
thought like you now think. no one who ever felt what
you now feel. and perhaps, what i treasure most,
no one who's ever possessed your priceless view of
reality as you now perceive it. and all of these things who
have been added unto me..
thank you, you've done enough.
you are enough..
i'm so pleased you have no idea..

you don't have to leave, but you chose to.
my heart went numb and tears started to rolls down my cheeks.
you told me that it's better for both of us..
you are tired, your feeling fade, i could find a better one..
i swear i did hate you, you dont even know how selfish you were..
but i couldnt find myself a reason to forget you.
cigg had always been my best buddies ever since you left..
only 'him' can in lieu my pain..

dear god,
please let me believe that there's miracle in this unpredictable world..

imy,thf.

New year, new life &a new me.

2009-01-02T23:24:00.007+08:00

retard smile? ha!

guess who is this? LOL!
i want KISSKISS LA! zz
AHAHA!
xh sure is hilarious! AHAHAHAH!

hard to see this bro of mine man! always bz. zzz

idw crap much,
just wanna say, stay happy like now..
imissyou.

just came back frm msia not long..
kind of fun there. ha.
bike, car, billiard, massage, pub& CIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
smoke like fuck? lol. bought 1carton and i finish it withtin 5days. lol.
cool isn't it. lol.

ytd went bugis with bros. shop and bla bla bla.
today too. boring life man.
anw, dear peeps, finally my ns letter came &my ass will be heading to 3rd sir camp
on the 13MARCH!
wanna see me botak?? i'll post it on the 12 of march entry. haha!

my crap ends here.
bye.

Boring life as it is.

2008-12-26T16:27:00.008+08:00

i wan kisskiss! lol!

the couple./ (:
danny in the house yo! ha!

jiajun kpo but xunhong seems to be happy. lol!
yea, sweet time. ;)

caught smoking? lol
The mr vain. (:
jiajun look ah gua here. LOL!
i force them to do that! HAHA!
the army guy~ (:
lost?

wenxin look so happy.. HAHAA!
lol! look at danny face. HA!

BROTHERS ALWAYS. :D
Megatax just ended! Like finally.. 6days at expo make me goes nuts man.!
At least i got to see the HOT BABE FIONA XIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Holybible jesus christ mother sake! she's really a freaking babe! lol.
Look damn gorgeous in real life. HAHA! Took a video of here. WOOT!

yea, xmas just passed too. haha. chill outside with bros. (:
i wanna go mask 51 again? HAHA!
i suddenly love drinkin man!
lets get nuts, drunk& MADDDDDDD!

oh damn, i'm not working again..
zzz shld i work for msi? crocs or ??!! zz
kk, shall stop here. duhh.~

- sometimes i really wonder are you just a friend to me..
- but then realise, it's something more..
- it's hurting me/..
- r/s are all lies..

Goodbye.

2008-12-14T04:52:00.002+08:00

i've been trying hard to let go evrything..
i've asked all my friends what to do,
i cant seems to get a ans..
aftall gdbye is the only path for me to take.
reality is curel, rlly curel.
i swear i didnt ask for much, all i ever wanted was just..
been a month alrdy, why am i still so down here.
why evry nights seem so hard for me to get aslp..
i cant seems to find a reason.

i always tell myself,
so long if i never give up, miracle would happen..
am i deceiving myself..?
how i wish all this shit is just a nightmare.
aft i wake up, she would be there beside me.
but no..
she'll never be there anymore.

its time for me to give up and wake up..
she's no longer mine..
no longer mine..

goodbye,
my lover,
my friend.

random.

2008-12-01T20:47:00.001+08:00

been a long time seem i update alrdy..
sitex show just ended. ohmy, it was tiring..
met some new friends. ha. man, they sure is hilarious.

anw, ytd went to queenstown to play billiard with jiajun aft ending work.
we happen to chit chat a bit and he told me this..
"Why is our friends getting lesser and lesser? " lol.
it was like wtf? It is so true dude. ha.

and he told some stuff abt his gf. and i was like wtf again. zz
cant say out here though. but all i can say that it's really shitty.
anyhow, at least he told me smth which make me ended up changing my mindset..
now then i realize i've never been to me..

hmm, why am i so emo right here right now..
hmm.. smth is missing? hmm.. perhaps so..
hmm hmm hmm, sigh.
i dont like this shitty feeling. -.-

anw, anyone want to go out? billiard or slack will be good.
movie also can.. i want to watch quarantine..
one of my ass friend told me that her gf nearly cried while watching.
so he was like gave her a hug. _|_ thanks lei dude. thanks for adding on to my wounds.
you are such a nice friend. lol.
anw, he said that it's nice.. so anyone wanna chill out ? lol.

ohyea, i'm looking for a new job now too..
so pls intro me if anyone got.. thanks thanks.

x'mas is coming..
exchanging present..
9mnth anni..
outing..
sentosa..
zoo..
sigh.
man, this feeling sure suck.

Photos.

2008-11-21T18:07:00.010+08:00

Before. 1st section.
2nd section//. which is ytd.. left one last section only. (:
Behind is completed.//

Ytd went to skin label..
went to have my touch up..
pain like fcuk? lol.
but i act as if not pain infront weifong. lol!
he say i very ' li hai ren tong ' . hah.!

aft that went goldenmile with jiajun& yingjie..
had some serious tiff with yingjie suddenly..
we nearly fight one on one..
end up nv..guess i was touched by his words? lol
aiya, i aslo dont know la. guess is because of my mood swing.
then ya.. whatever. damn fuck, you should know why am i so upset ma..
yet you still pissed me. =.= okok. nvm.
was both party fault. lol. so, chill. -.-

kk, thats all. nth else to blog.
imissyou.
off!

For those who are lost & those with a broken heart..

2008-11-20T01:44:00.006+08:00

I admit that i'm down aft a break up.
But to the fact that at least i did treasure every moment with her..
there's no regret anymore..
every moment was beautiful and definitely memorable.
i'm satisfied le.. really. its enough.
so pls dont scold yourself anymore. No one aint at fault.
so yea. i'll be fine. thanks. (:

Dear god, i don't ask for much this time round..
just give us your blessing in whatever we do.
&for those who are lost & with a broken heart,
i just wanna tell you all that, you all got to moved on no matter what the outcome is..
it's nv the end.
All of you are never alone & thanks god that you'd just learn another impt lesson in life.
So why not get your feet up and continue your journey..?
cheers and smile. (:

Never look back..!

Special day..

2008-11-16T06:41:00.000+08:00

Today used to be a very special day for both of us..
but now..
sigh. its all over..
8months..

when its time to let go,
you got to let go..
ni kai xin, wo jiu kai xin..

...

It's all over..

2008-11-15T02:54:00.000+08:00

Evrything just ended like that..
was all my fault..
i've nv been a good bf..
stare,fight,smoke,tattoo,not studyin,not caring,not loving,
just a piece of shit..

sorry..
all these days was beautiful..
sweetest longest r/s that i ever had.
sweetest gf i ever had..
i'm just the only one to blame..
dont know how to treasure..
everything was just like ytd//..
the first day we met..
kpool..
idk..
you are one lovely gf.. sorry..
make you felt so terrible all these days..
sorry.. really sorry..
thanks..
thanks for everything that we had been through..
i couldn't ask for much more le..
just takecare.. really takecare..

as i said..
you would be my last gf..
i'll wait for your return on the very same spot..
reaching 8months in 2 days time..
every 16th of the month will always be a very special day for me..
thanks but yet sorry..
sorryy..

right from the bottom of my heart i say these to you..
iloveyou..

i've nv regret being with you..
i'm always proud that you were my gf..
nv did i doubt before.. nv..
and you said i could find a better one..
thanks.. but no thanks..
you know i just need you..
thanks for letting me call you baby still..
thanks.. really thanks..

you wanted to know my b'day wish isn;t it..
it was..
i'd wish that you could always be my girlf..
always..
but god didnt grant my wish..
he nv..

just want you to be happy..
whether it's be with me, or without me..
just want you to be happy..

pls takecare of your lil body..
cover your small blanket well every night..
dont always eat maggie..
dont ever let ppl bully you..
dont need to worried for me..
i'll be fine..
takecare, my lil girlf who i used to had..

bye..
love. 16/3/08 . . . .

Speechless.

2008-11-08T16:00:00.000+08:00

Its really over.
Everything..
all over..
sorry..

Just let time to heal my wounds..
or hopping for the best that you might come back..
yeah..

I need to get a life man. =/

Tired?

2008-11-05T19:46:00.001+08:00

Everyone seem so tired on almost everything.
I wondered and wondering why is all this shit happening.
&whats more funny is that even i myself is tired.
Can someone please tell me what exactly tired mean?
&why the fuck I'm feeling so down out of no reason?
I'm down, seriously down. No one ain't feeling good.
The last known happiness have long be gone.
Its gone, all gone..
Fuck this unhappy life.
FUCK OFF!!

Remose& Guilty.

2008-10-30T01:32:00.000+08:00

Cant seem to fall asleep and so i decided to blog my feeling out..
just wanna say i'm sorry baby.
i really dont mean anything seriously.
i know.. everything was my fault.
i'm sry. thats why i didnt even mumble a word out..
but baby, i tell you this..
no one can ever replace you.. no one..
you might think it's too early to say all this shit,
but.. i'm really serious about it. &without doubts,
you'll definitely always be my first priority.
sigh.

I'm sorry about my b'day stuff.
Aft i'd received your msges, there was simply just million of question
of silence. i turned mute& cant even think of what to say but just sorry..

Still remembering what i used to tell you..
I want to protect you& you'll be my last girlf..
no one could ever hurt you again.. lets last long tgth shall we?..
deep down i really mean all of it..

reaching 8mth soon. it's rlly a miracle alrdy.
really.. thanks you..
thanks for tolerating with all my fuck up attitude,
thanks for being there for me when i need someone the most,
thanks for celebrating my b'day,
thanks for not hiding anything from me,
thanks for crying whenever we quarreled badly,
thanks for making me felt love like no one else did before,
thanks for scolding me when i did smth wrong,
thanks for standing tall for me even when i'm in wrong,
thanks for trusting me,
thanks for loving me,
&lastly, thanks for being my girlf.. iloveyou baby,
now&always..

sorry..

Officially 18!

2008-10-27T05:00:00.000+08:00

Finally i'm 18 today.. didn't really celebrate much,
but was really touched by my girlf and buddy. (:
omfg. i felt damn fortunate. one side is girlf, another side is buddy.
both is the most impt person in my life apart frm my family..
cakes and b'day songs. (:
thanks darling for the cake.. it was really a surprise.
&yea, you are so damn right. my wish is.. you shld know..
home sweet home ard aftnoon and out to celebrate with family.
family members was funny. ha! presents and etc and off to eat. (:
meet up with jiajun , xunhong& jinsheng shortly aft my dinner.
everything went on smoothly.
&hell yea, finally can buy cigg LEGALLY. =.=
registration for driving license SOON!

- smth is really wrong..
idk how to say or how to react..
jealousy? idk.
dear god, pls hlp me with this blank thoughts..

Phone lost.

2008-10-10T14:54:00.000+08:00

I LOST MY DAMN PHONE! DONT CONTACT ME! SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Life's is kinda boring doing nothing but just works..

2008-10-08T16:25:00.000+08:00

Happened to get a off tmr, so decided to blog some things. (:
Nothing much had happen. Just get to know some shocking news & perhaps some truth.
Anyhow, going back to work at mustafa. Hopefully it will be as good as last time? ha!
Creative actually is really a very nice place.. all the staff over there are nice..
but.. sigh. quitting this week. reason? i don't even know why.. perhaps is because of the pay bah.

Baby& me hitting 7thmonth? Really felt blessed and fortunate..
Thanks for all these days dear. (: iloveyou.

Currently vexing about whether wants to work everyday or just 5days per week.
*eyes rolling* damn! Sure is hard to decide. And yea, still waiting for my ns letter?
I don't even know what i really want man. Get my butt in for early enlist or just wait?
duh, crap!

PLEASE NOTE!

- some impt fellow birthday is coming. (:
hahaha/. duh. thats all.

ciao~ oh yea, 1 last thing..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RENATA. (:

New blog.

2008-10-05T16:29:00.001+08:00

Just testing. 1,2,3.