where are you..

reaching 8mths alr, i rlly wish to know how are you..
i didnt have the courage to text you at all.
ur bday present is still in my hse. i wonder when then can i give it to you.
i know.. i know you are alr attached.
but i really cant stop myself from missing you.
i cant move on girl. i really cant. i swear i did tried alot of matter to in lieu you.
but nth seems to work. i hate myself for still missing&loving you.

i can console all my friends and budd what to do. but i cant do the same to myself.
i tried to hate you.. but, it doesnt seem to work.
i'm paronoid. so damn paronoid.
i dont like the feeling of being alone. when i used to have everything ard me.
i dont like the feeling where i need to force myself to sleep everynight.
how does it feel when u know iloveyou and u decided to leave me so curely.

i'm acting worse then a girl now man.
fuck this bullshit.
i wonder what i really want..

dear god, pls guide me through this..