bday tmr?

5yrs and forever!

somehow i look so ugly in every singe photo..

i think i really look awuful. zzz

last yr bday i wasnt alone..
you bought a cake for me..

it was more like ytd then a yr to me.

i.. nvm. last long and hold ur smile. takecare!

outing with budd, her bro and aly.

was a good one. i enjoyed myself/ (:

thanks! budd always!! x3

adeline faster finish o's!

outing!! lol.

where are you..

reaching 8mths alr, i rlly wish to know how are you..
i didnt have the courage to text you at all.
ur bday present is still in my hse. i wonder when then can i give it to you.
i know.. i know you are alr attached.
but i really cant stop myself from missing you.
i cant move on girl. i really cant. i swear i did tried alot of matter to in lieu you.
but nth seems to work. i hate myself for still missing&loving you.

i can console all my friends and budd what to do. but i cant do the same to myself.
i tried to hate you.. but, it doesnt seem to work.
i'm paronoid. so damn paronoid.
i dont like the feeling of being alone. when i used to have everything ard me.
i dont like the feeling where i need to force myself to sleep everynight.
how does it feel when u know iloveyou and u decided to leave me so curely.

i'm acting worse then a girl now man.
fuck this bullshit.
i wonder what i really want..

dear god, pls guide me through this..

Be strong..

be strong budd,
be strong!
always here.. love

Army.

yo! i like finally blog. lol.
nth much to say.. just serving ns now and leading a good life i guess.
heard that you have a new bf le..
happy for you girl.
at the same time, kind of sad.. idk y..
but still, hope you all last long.
take care, lil girl.

& thanks to all my bros for acc me when i booked out today.
really f touched. haha. thanks. (:

1yearand 11more months to ord! lol!

give up.

i'm tired.. really.. so tired..
you kept me hanging on without moving on..
i cant fight the tears that are coming.. or the moment of truth in your lies..
while everything seem just like a movie, i bleed just to know that i'm still alive.
i miss you so much girl..
thanks budd to be there all this while..
but utterly sorry at the same time..
cause i've nv been a good budd..
sorry..

army soon.. =/

down..

ytd just went out with her..
suppose to be happy, but yet i'm right here feeling so down like a dying emo kid.
sometime i really dont know what to do or what to say..
am i really that bad..? do i really look that horrible? is my attitude really that fuck up?
ytd was a quiet night. i didnt really talk to her at all.
firstly, i dont know what the fuck i'm shying abt..
dont even dare to really talk to her? damn.
secondly, she is quiet herself..
idk.. ytd feel so wierd i can say..
so drifted, so stranger..
why..?? another month and a day is our one yr you know..
iloveyou so much i can say..
you make me so crazy over you even aft 3months of break up.
i'm a emo kid,!! damn fucking right i am!
i dont know how to treasure ppl ard me and i treat everyone so shitty!
sorry.. sorry to those who hate me and those who treat me well..
sighh, i'm sincerely sorry my friends..
i dont know why my life now is so fuck up.
seriously hope that things will get better.. ns soon. another 20days plus.
your bday reaching too.. sigh.
i.. i just want to treat you better. damn.
i wish i could let go. i really wish i could.
but there's too many reason for me not to let go..
i couldn't find anyone else but you, to really show me what is true love all about..
not anyone else but you, whom i can be so close to their family with.
and lastly, not anyone but you, whom i can hug so tightly while sleeping next to you.
r/s makes me gone so nuts..
i seriously hate this life now..
dear god, please pick me up from this fall,
i wish and beg you..
amen.

The sudden miss.

dearest, where have you gone,
you seem missing..
i miss you so..
yet cant mumble a word out.
how are you, i thought i could let go, but i'm so wrong..
everywhere i go seems to have a memories of you.
i hate myself living in this hell.. everyday deceiving myself.
world of lies..
i'm so envy whenever i saw couple on the street.
hug and kisses,
jokes and laughter..

will you ever come back..
i'm still waiting..
waiting..

sigh.

last words..

i've finally make it? moving on with my life without looking back?
thanks to those who cheer me up. esp all my bros.. thanks.
though in a different way, but it's greatly appreciated.
girl, at the very least, you were once mine..
you were my best,& will always be..

Smile& let go. (:

yea! its cny now. happy cny to everyone yo. (:
nothing much to blog, just have been playing mahjong's with bros.
and yea, bai nian. lol.
recently did went to a club, quite fun. worth try going guys.
it's at clarkey where last time the mos is. the songs and the DJ is cool.
the dance floor is small but the scenario is marvelous. haha.

in about slightly 40days time, i'm going to ns le. kind of excited? lol.
but kinda shag when i think abt being botak soon.
time sure flies. i'm alrdy 19 this yr, very soon will be 20, 21, 22,23. duhhhh.
random. -.-

anyhow, i still miss you girl.
but i'm happy to see the way you are now. (:
happy life , big smile. haha.
so glad to see you that day at cine, you smiled so prettily.
flawless smile. (:
stay happy and yea, no sad! hahaha.

& to all my bros, dont mia lei, i'm rotting at home seriously.
before i go ns, faster ask me out!! billiard or mahjongggggggggg!

kk, thats all.
happy CNY to all. (:

10months.

todays is our 1omonths..
there's still so much thing i wanna tell you..
you left me in disarray..
3months had passed. imy so much..
how i wished you didnt go..
i'm a failure, a useless crap..

before you came along, there was no one who ever
thought like you now think. no one who ever felt what
you now feel. and perhaps, what i treasure most,
no one who's ever possessed your priceless view of
reality as you now perceive it. and all of these things who
have been added unto me..
thank you, you've done enough.
you are enough..
i'm so pleased you have no idea..

you don't have to leave, but you chose to.
my heart went numb and tears started to rolls down my cheeks.
you told me that it's better for both of us..
you are tired, your feeling fade, i could find a better one..
i swear i did hate you, you dont even know how selfish you were..
but i couldnt find myself a reason to forget you.
cigg had always been my best buddies ever since you left..
only 'him' can in lieu my pain..

dear god,
please let me believe that there's miracle in this unpredictable world..

imy,thf.

New year, new life &a new me.

retard smile? ha!

guess who is this? LOL!
i want KISSKISS LA! zz
AHAHA!
xh sure is hilarious! AHAHAHAH!

hard to see this bro of mine man! always bz. zzz



idw crap much,
just wanna say, stay happy like now..
imissyou.

just came back frm msia not long..
kind of fun there. ha.
bike, car, billiard, massage, pub& CIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
smoke like fuck? lol. bought 1carton and i finish it withtin 5days. lol.
cool isn't it. lol.

ytd went bugis with bros. shop and bla bla bla.
today too. boring life man.
anw, dear peeps, finally my ns letter came &my ass will be heading to 3rd sir camp
on the 13MARCH!
wanna see me botak?? i'll post it on the 12 of march entry. haha!

my crap ends here.
bye.