give up.

i'm tired.. really.. so tired..
you kept me hanging on without moving on..
i cant fight the tears that are coming.. or the moment of truth in your lies..
while everything seem just like a movie, i bleed just to know that i'm still alive.
i miss you so much girl..
thanks budd to be there all this while..
but utterly sorry at the same time..
cause i've nv been a good budd..
sorry..

army soon.. =/

down..

ytd just went out with her..
suppose to be happy, but yet i'm right here feeling so down like a dying emo kid.
sometime i really dont know what to do or what to say..
am i really that bad..? do i really look that horrible? is my attitude really that fuck up?
ytd was a quiet night. i didnt really talk to her at all.
firstly, i dont know what the fuck i'm shying abt..
dont even dare to really talk to her? damn.
secondly, she is quiet herself..
idk.. ytd feel so wierd i can say..
so drifted, so stranger..
why..?? another month and a day is our one yr you know..
iloveyou so much i can say..
you make me so crazy over you even aft 3months of break up.
i'm a emo kid,!! damn fucking right i am!
i dont know how to treasure ppl ard me and i treat everyone so shitty!
sorry.. sorry to those who hate me and those who treat me well..
sighh, i'm sincerely sorry my friends..
i dont know why my life now is so fuck up.
seriously hope that things will get better.. ns soon. another 20days plus.
your bday reaching too.. sigh.
i.. i just want to treat you better. damn.
i wish i could let go. i really wish i could.
but there's too many reason for me not to let go..
i couldn't find anyone else but you, to really show me what is true love all about..
not anyone else but you, whom i can be so close to their family with.
and lastly, not anyone but you, whom i can hug so tightly while sleeping next to you.
r/s makes me gone so nuts..
i seriously hate this life now..
dear god, please pick me up from this fall,
i wish and beg you..
amen.

The sudden miss.

dearest, where have you gone,
you seem missing..
i miss you so..
yet cant mumble a word out.
how are you, i thought i could let go, but i'm so wrong..
everywhere i go seems to have a memories of you.
i hate myself living in this hell.. everyday deceiving myself.
world of lies..
i'm so envy whenever i saw couple on the street.
hug and kisses,
jokes and laughter..

will you ever come back..
i'm still waiting..
waiting..

sigh.

last words..

i've finally make it? moving on with my life without looking back?
thanks to those who cheer me up. esp all my bros.. thanks.
though in a different way, but it's greatly appreciated.
girl, at the very least, you were once mine..
you were my best,& will always be..