Nostalgic.

somehow, deliberately have this urge to blog.
as i desperately need someone to talk to,
despondently, there isn't any one for me to pour out to.
life is full or curves, up and down. no doubt about that.
it's all part of growing up; adolesence.

friends? what's friend?
someone who would be there for you when you are down,
someone who would be there for you in terms of trouble,
someone who would be there for you when you are about to turn insane,
someone who would be there and share to you all their happiness,
someone who would be there and give you a listening ear if you ever need one,
someone who would be there and love you for who you really are,
chiefly,
someone who just want to be with you and be there for you without expecting
anything in return.

i do have one, but i felt that she deserve someone better.
same goes to all my ex lover, they deserve much better.
i'm aint whining down here like a bitch,
nor definitely i aint expecting any sympathy from any one.
& just to be genuine, i need no sympathy from no one.

i just felt that, it's time to distant myself away from them.
no matter what's the outcome, i think it'll be much better for them.
might sound selfish in a sense,
but i really cant purge myself away from all the harted i had within myself.
i know no one is perfect, if they were perfect, they would'd already be god.
but, i'm not even in the category of normal.
i'd desolated myself away by my very own hand.
&the tattoo i had will maim me for life.
living in the prison of my own creation huh?

i know i could never be able to turn back time, never.
it takes time to bury this load of mine,
till then, sorry my friends..

time flies

hey, yea, finally blog again.
what can i say? time sure flies..
so many things had happened, and its like i finally ord.
i wont say it's fast nor short, but i think it's worth remembering it.
these 2years definiely had shaped me to a whole new different person.
in terms of both physically and mentally.

what's my plan next?
i'll be re-taking my eng and math this year.
and lets pray hard that i at least get a c6 for both to skate through myself to sim dip.
hopefully it's still not too late for me to study yea?
we reap what we sow isnt it? haha.

anw, i'd moved on. as in really moved on.
memories of you definiely would still hovered ard me.
but it's all past. let bygones be bygones. (:

chiefly, i just hope that this year would be a good year for me! ;D

bday tmr?

5yrs and forever!

somehow i look so ugly in every singe photo..

i think i really look awuful. zzz

last yr bday i wasnt alone..
you bought a cake for me..

it was more like ytd then a yr to me.

i.. nvm. last long and hold ur smile. takecare!

outing with budd, her bro and aly.

was a good one. i enjoyed myself/ (:

thanks! budd always!! x3

adeline faster finish o's!

outing!! lol.

where are you..

reaching 8mths alr, i rlly wish to know how are you..
i didnt have the courage to text you at all.
ur bday present is still in my hse. i wonder when then can i give it to you.
i know.. i know you are alr attached.
but i really cant stop myself from missing you.
i cant move on girl. i really cant. i swear i did tried alot of matter to in lieu you.
but nth seems to work. i hate myself for still missing&loving you.

i can console all my friends and budd what to do. but i cant do the same to myself.
i tried to hate you.. but, it doesnt seem to work.
i'm paronoid. so damn paronoid.
i dont like the feeling of being alone. when i used to have everything ard me.
i dont like the feeling where i need to force myself to sleep everynight.
how does it feel when u know iloveyou and u decided to leave me so curely.

i'm acting worse then a girl now man.
fuck this bullshit.
i wonder what i really want..

dear god, pls guide me through this..

Be strong..

be strong budd,
be strong!
always here.. love

Army.

yo! i like finally blog. lol.
nth much to say.. just serving ns now and leading a good life i guess.
heard that you have a new bf le..
happy for you girl.
at the same time, kind of sad.. idk y..
but still, hope you all last long.
take care, lil girl.

& thanks to all my bros for acc me when i booked out today.
really f touched. haha. thanks. (:

1yearand 11more months to ord! lol!

give up.

i'm tired.. really.. so tired..
you kept me hanging on without moving on..
i cant fight the tears that are coming.. or the moment of truth in your lies..
while everything seem just like a movie, i bleed just to know that i'm still alive.
i miss you so much girl..
thanks budd to be there all this while..
but utterly sorry at the same time..
cause i've nv been a good budd..
sorry..

army soon.. =/