down..

ytd just went out with her..
suppose to be happy, but yet i'm right here feeling so down like a dying emo kid.
sometime i really dont know what to do or what to say..
am i really that bad..? do i really look that horrible? is my attitude really that fuck up?
ytd was a quiet night. i didnt really talk to her at all.
firstly, i dont know what the fuck i'm shying abt..
dont even dare to really talk to her? damn.
secondly, she is quiet herself..
idk.. ytd feel so wierd i can say..
so drifted, so stranger..
why..?? another month and a day is our one yr you know..
iloveyou so much i can say..
you make me so crazy over you even aft 3months of break up.
i'm a emo kid,!! damn fucking right i am!
i dont know how to treasure ppl ard me and i treat everyone so shitty!
sorry.. sorry to those who hate me and those who treat me well..
sighh, i'm sincerely sorry my friends..
i dont know why my life now is so fuck up.
seriously hope that things will get better.. ns soon. another 20days plus.
your bday reaching too.. sigh.
i.. i just want to treat you better. damn.
i wish i could let go. i really wish i could.
but there's too many reason for me not to let go..
i couldn't find anyone else but you, to really show me what is true love all about..
not anyone else but you, whom i can be so close to their family with.
and lastly, not anyone but you, whom i can hug so tightly while sleeping next to you.
r/s makes me gone so nuts..
i seriously hate this life now..
dear god, please pick me up from this fall,
i wish and beg you..
amen.